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So much has happened–writing anything feels overwhelming. So much to say, might as well not say anything.

That’s why I haven’t really blogged in 2 months

I’m pregnant. #5. I’m in a better place than I was, but this is unexpected. And came with waves of fear, anger, resentment, confusion, and peace. Sigh. I’m hoping for a beautiful inner transformation to come out of this.

I left my old job. The one that did a number on me. Closing out was a sprint. And sad–just as anti-climactic as I anticipated. Walking out of the building I experienced some of the same deliverance manifestations I’ve had on occasion in the past. Fascinating.

Got a great new job. They like me. They defer to me and trust me. It’s nice. I’m in the office two days a week, work from home one. My commute is half what it was. Amazing.

Moved into our new house in June. Love it. Well I will when we are settled. We’ve moved four times since Dec. so we couldn’t be unpacked, ORGANIZED, and settled in any quicker.

So it didn’t help when I spent most of July in the couch soooo sick with morning sickness. Far worse than ever before. I literally couldn’t move without losing my stomach. Ugh.

I’m at 12 weeks today. So this morning I’m feeling better about the idea that I won’t miscarry this one like I did two times ago. And excited that the morning sickness is at an end. And getting happier about having a ginormous family. : )

Guess I’m learning to surrender. Again. I thought we were on one plan, going a certain way, including a path of four kids and reduced expenses–enough that I could focus more on ministry and being with the family. I’m slowly coming to grips with that not being God’s plan. At least for the foreseeable future. I trust His plan is better, but it has thrown me for a bit of a loop.

It’s been a year of unexpecteds.