Lately I find myself chewing on some things Jen has told me. She has this way of dropping conviction bombs — the kind that make you fundamentally change who you are as a person — with such grace that it takes, oh I don’t know, like a year?, before you realize that you’ve changed as a person because of one thing she said a long long time ago.
It was Jen who told me that she doesn’t get a gift for someone unless she wants to and it’s nice. Otherwise, there’s no point in getting it. She’s going to spend the money, she’s going to select it thoughtfully, and she’s going to wrap it beautifully, or she’s not giving one. Many people don’t get gifts, but the ones who do — mmm. A Jenifer gift is always a nice gift. I know because I got one from her after Justice was born. It made me totally rethink how I give gifts. I felt so loved and so special. I want to give like Jen gives.
It also was Jen who told me that she used to be concerned with what people thought of her — when she entered a room, said something, or flubbed up. I can relate. I spend a lot of emotional energy worrying about that — worrying that I’ve given people a reason to reject me. Wondering what they think of me. But Jen said that after something the Lord showed her, she started to be concerned about what others thought she thought of them. In other words, instead of wondering whether people were rejecting her, she concerned herself with whether people felt accepted by her. It really freed her up to love bigger. I want to think about others the way she does. I want to love like Jen.