We lost our baby last week. What a roller coaster of a week – the pregnancy loss was totally unexpected. And our anniversary and Niki’s birthday was last week, too. High, low, high, low. I can be doing fine, but then feel like someone comes and grabbed me by my heels and pulled me under into the deep end of a pool. I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I do all the time – I feel like I’m crying on the inside ALL THE TIME and I feel so tired. And the tiredness makes me cranky and sometimes angry, and NOT myself. I don’t like it.

Aghh! But this is part of the real me – this is what I am like when I am really, deeply sad. This isn’t the whole me, but it’s a part of me I’ve never experienced before.

It really helps to hear people say they love us, they’re praying for us, and they’re sorry – and then for them just to be quiet. There really isn’t anything to say – a hug and sorrowful silence goes a long way.