A friend posed a question to me a couple months ago: “Where do you find fulfillment? What anchors you? Is your primary calling and gifting to be an attorney and your confidence there allows you to carry that over into ministry?”
I’ve spent considerable time contemplating it. Turns out she hit on something really deep that God’s been gradually working on in me – where I find the source of my strength, purpose, and identity.
Essentially, He’s been flattening me in every area of my life to show me that I’ve been trying to “do it all” on my own strength. As a result, I’m caught up in a lot of doo–ing (not unlike what Josiah can do in his pants…) — failing to rest in His love, and thinking I can do it all (pride is under all this, which really disgusts me).
Any case, I’m trying to work through it all, but it’s taking a long time. And I realized as part of this that I have kept trying to “do” my way out of doing… that hasn’t worked. So now I’m focusing on resting… whatever that looks like.
I imagine that at some point I will have an amazing testimony to share about all this – because I can see that it’s a huge thing He’s doing in my life. But right now, it seems really jumbled…