I just walked by a friend’s house. It’s nighttime, and her windows were open. Inside, some women in our neighborhood who are friends of mine were inside. They were having some sort of get together. It looked really fun. Lots of laughter. Goodies piled around the front table. Candles. You know – the kind of thing that I would have loved to have been invited to. I wished I was.
It makes me sad, but I’m not sure why. Not like I would have gone anyway. Today has not been the best day, to say the least. Plus, my in-laws will be here any minute. And I’ve got some significant clean up to do before church tomorrow. And I really want to be with Niki.
But I miss my friends. I haven’t seen them in forever. I feel like I haven’t been a very good friend to them.
And I feel left out. Rejected, really.
Which comes full circle to the thing which God showed me early this year – how I had taken on rejection as my identity. And, as a result, had routinely rejected others. Rejection always rejects.
God did a huge work in me over this year. And I have put a lot of this “rejection” behind me. But tonight, I feel it creeping up again. I’m going to go pray.